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“I dont think I was ever able to shake off the feeling I was springing the information on him, usually when we were either out to dinner and he wanted to order a bottle of wine, or at a party where alcohol was introduced,” he says. Sorry.” That changed, however, as he got used to talking about his condition.
“As time went on, and I got more comfortable with this side of my life, so did the ease with which I told a man not to expect a tequila-scented smooch at the end of the night,” he says.
If you're considering telling your partner about a health secret, here are eight tips to help you spill the beans. Practice what to say Before you drop a bomb on a potential mate, rehearse your speech with a trusted friend or visit a therapist to talk it through, suggests Ken Robbins, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin–Madison.
“Its good to have somebody as a sounding board in a situation like this,” he says.
Why wasn’t I getting reciprocal lovey-doveyness when we were first married? From Disney movies to my favorite shows like “The Office” to practically every pop song released, love is constantly sold as an emotion we have before we’re married.
And that’s why my wife just gave me that half-smile. And now that I’ve tried to change the way I look at love, the more I become shocked at the messages of love I had gotten when I was younger.
“But Ive had people ask and Im always honest with them.
“I dont really bring it up, not when Im first dating people,” she says.Some confidential information can't stay that way foreverif you take daily medication or if you have a condition with visible symptoms, for example.Other events in your medical history, such as addictions, mental illness, past surgeries, and health scares, can easily remain a secretbut should they?“How you handle this is not something your partner is likely to forget.” Laurie Davis, an online dating expert based in New York and Boston, suggests asking a friend what sounds most intimidating about your condition and getting his or her advice on how to smooth it over.Getting a second opinion can help you decide how much to say (and when and where to say it), and running through your script a few times can make you more comfortable sharing your story.
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“Its the smoking and lack of sleeping; its hard to share your life with someone when you need to explain further why you do these things,” she says.